Words I put into sentences......

*This was written on Saturday August 21, 2010. But due to lack of reliable internet and patience, it is only just now being published.* 

Ever since I was a kid reading has NOT been my favorite way to pass time. Definitely wasn’t ever my first choice and sometimes I made it so it wasn’t even an option. I was never “good” at reading. It was always hard for me and perhaps one of the reasons why I hated it so much as a kid. I had to go to special reading school to help me and all I wanted to read were Zoo Books. Hence my love for biology and the greater world outside. I loved being outside. I loved playing and could never sit down long enough to finish a simple worksheet for homework let alone read a book. I would just get bored way to quickly.

This way of thinking continued throughout my school years, even  in college. While I did read some amazing things, I still didn’t like it that much. I had my music and would spend most of my free time writing and singing songs on my guitar. It was something that I didn’t have to struggle with. Something that didn’t remind me of my childhood and how hard it was to put things in alphabetical order or to read simple sentences outloud in class.

Music is still and always will be that for me: home. But as I sit out in my courtyard, reading “My Mercedes is Not For Sale” by Jeroen Van Bergeijk, I can’t help but think about what other women my age or younger are doing right now in my site. You can only clean the house so many times. Only do laundry so many times. And since it’s Ramadan, not much cooking is being done. Tea isn’t being made at every hour. So what are they doing?

My community integration thus far and observations have lead me to the following: when I asked my 15 yr. old neighbor what she did last weekend or yesterday even, the response is always the same, NOTHING! What!?!? I’m shocked but at the same time not. She says that she just stayed in the house all day and maybe walked around a little. So much of what I’ve seen from my female neighbors has been a lot of “chit-chat”. Just hanging out but mainly staying in the house and tending to the chores of the day, which seem to be the same everyday.

I often wonder if she is bored. But at the same time with my limited language abilities at this moment and the fear of being rude, I don’t ask. It is sort of implied by her tone, her facial expressions and her body language. But I can’t be 100 percent sure. So I just leave it to what it is: she stayed in the house all day and did nothing. 

I just wonder what Moroccan women do for fun. I still have yet to discover what that is in my site. Pretty much all women are in the house all day. So do I just go to peoples’ houses, walk in and just start asking away? I need an “in”. Or at least I think I do. I still have a very small clue about how to integrate “properly”. Probably because there isn’t a “proper” way. It just happens shwiya b shwiya (little by little). Unfortunately, I’m so curious about womens’ free time or fun time activities that it can be very frustrating at times to not be fluent or at least understand them when they start speaking really fast and in high pitches.

So what in the hell does this have to do with reading? Well when I say I did “nothing” all day, that usually means that I didn’t go “outside”. I didn’t walk around outside of my house. I didn’t make any improvements or contacts or gather information for my future project. I stayed home and did the usual cleaning etc, cooked some, played my guitar, wrote emails to friends and family back home, researched for my project, watched some TV or a movie on my computer and read the news or a book, sometimes both. When my neighbor says she did “nothing” all day, I literally invision her just sitting at home, watching TV or cleaning and that’s it. But again, I can’t be 100 percent sure.

But what I can be at least 85 percent sure on is that reading as a way to pass time is pretty much nonexistent in my site and perhaps other volunteers’ sites. I read when I have nothing else to do, when my fingers hurt from playing the guitar, when I don’t want to stare at a computer screen etc. This eventually lead me to the thought that perhaps it’s just not a popular thing for girls and women to do in Morocco. Although my host-mom in site did read occasionally, I think they were prayer books. Nonetheless, she was reading.

So I pose this idea to all of you out there: Do you think if more books were available and more girls and women could read, would they? Would they pick up a book instead of turning on the TV to watch Diablo? I don’t know either but it’s definitely worth thinking about. Since being back from PPST, a group of little girls and two teenagers have been coming over to my house to just “hangout”. The little girls draw me pictures and ask me to tell them about America and if it’s pretty or not. While the older girls browse my bookshelf and read the animal posters I have on my wall about Morocco. They are in French and standard Arabic, so they can read them. They seem to take so much pleasure in it. A simple fun and an ability that I think is simple and take for granted every day.

*L-FTUR BREAK*

Okay I just got back from breaking fast with my neighbors. Fun times. Great food. Always! I’m so lucky to have neighbors like them. Always making sure I’m okay and offering to help me with Arabic. As a matter of fact one is coming over tomorrow to help me with Arabic. Sweet! I need all the help I can get lol.

Anywho, back to my ramble about reading etc. One of my neighbors, just informed me that he is hoping that in 2011 there will be a library of some sort at the Commune in town. It will be accessible to everyone. That was the idea that he proposed to the commune in which he is one of 12 members. So hopefully that works out. I’ll be in site to see what happens, so that’s exciting. It may even help with my discovery of Moroccan girls and women having the option to read in their free time and whether or not they would do so. Of course not everyone would want to read in their free time but I do know of some women, mainly teenagers with big aspirations to study in Europe or even America. Perhaps they would be the ones to seek out the library first?

So I guess what I’m trying to say is that even though reading is not my favorite thing to do, I have become quite fond of it since being in Morocco. And also I have met incredible girls and women just within my 5 months of being here who either could not read or probably weren’t going to continue their education past primary school. It’s unfortunate and at times makes me feel guilty for having these abilities: to read, to write, to go to school at my choice etc and that I don’t like reading that much.  But at the same time, I use it as an opportunity to stand up for all girls and women. Why not me? Why can’t I be the one to give a girl or a woman a book, to help her read it and perhaps change her perspective or open a door etc, stretch her imagination etc. ? I can tell them about how hard it was for me to read when I was younger (and truthfully still is sometimes, even with a college degree).

Thus here is my relationship with reading. I hate it because it’s still difficult for me and because I don’t have the attention span to stick with it for more than an hour or less. But I love it because of the opportunities it has given to to me. The things I have had the pleasure of studying because I can read. The things that I still have left to discover in this world through reading. And I’m not just talking about history or politics.  I’m talking about the poems I still haven’t read, the many authors who my friends Karen and Vanessa talk about who I have no clue are etc.

And so perhaps in the future the girls and women in my site will pick up a book and read it! OMG the potential lol. One can only hope :) Okay enough of this. I’m making some popcorn and watching GLEE :)

 

PEACE OUT!

 

 

ps: OMG what if someone in my town watches Glee???? haha, that’s a longshot.