Words I put into sentences......

11/6/2010 *The beginning of this entry is straight from a scratch piece of paper. I just felt the need to write but didn’t have my journal.* Right now I’m sitting in my old room in Idlsan, Morocco. My first two months in country were spent here, learning Darija, the way of Morocco via culture and customs and even things such as transportation and how to order coffee. At the time it was a crazy two months. feeling trapped in my own head with no way out. Days were spent in confusion whether it was by language or culture. I hardly understood anything, could barely speak and felt overwhelmed by the entire experience of Peace Corps in general. At the end of April 2010, I set out for my new home, Gafait. Gafait is way on the other side of the country, requiring at least two days travel. I was scared and happy at the same time. But this time, I was doing it alone. No CBT mates to hangout with, no Darija teacher to translate for us and more than those things, I was leaving my host family. I’ve only been back in Idlsan for a couple of hours and I never realized just how much I missed the warmth and love that surrounded everything AND I missed the tagines sooo bad!! OMG! So good!!! Now six months after leaving Idlsan, my CBT mates and I have decided to return. We just finished a crazy week of IST in Marrakech and thought it would be a perfect time to come back. I have to admit I was a little nervous. Was my family going to remember me? Was my language going to work? Was I going to feel a part of Idlsan again? YES YES and YES! I just got done eating dinner at Anton’s house and I have to say it feels sooo great to be back! I missed everything about Idlsan. The smell, the dirt roads, the food and the people. I missed how I felt here. I felt safe. And I owe a lot of that to my host family. Upon entering my old room, during tea time my CBT mates and I looked up and saw my family photo and Peace Corps certificate hanging up. So amazing to see that. It’s not the picture but the meaning behind it. I truly feel like I’m a part of this family. The weird American daughter/sister/friend, but still. It feels great to be back. I needed this. Really needed this. Peace Corps (PC) life is up and down. Right before IST I was on a down. My work felt unfocused, my language seemed stagnant and overall I just felt drained from life itself. But then IST came. I got to see all my friends and reconnect with Jackie AND win the talent show!! I did a mash-up of “I’m Yours” and “Single Ladies” and then a random improv song about life in Morocco, playing to “Halo”. So much fun!! People laughed so hard that they cried/almost peed their pants, I got to vent and just have a great time. *End* Okay this part is the rest of my reflections. In a day and a half, my CBT mates and I partook in the consumption of at least 30 cups of tea each! Holy crap! The night we got to Idlsan, we made the rounds to each person’s house. Went to mine first, then Anton’s, Steven’s, Colin’s and then Mina’s. The funny part was that neither Colin’s nor Mina’s families had a clue that we were coming lol. I guess the news didn’t reach all the families. It turned out that Mina’s Dad had her number wrong. I left my phone in Rabat, and reception in Idlsan is lacking to say the least. But everything worked out. You know those hugs you get from your Mom? Or anyone you truly care about and who truly care about you? Almost “bear-hug” like. So tight that you can’t breathe but you don’t want to let go? That is how it felt when my host Mom hugged me or when my little sisters saw me. Or really when any of our CBT families saw us. It was as if we were truly their children who came back for a visit. The smiles, the hugs, the food, the memories, everything. It was exactly what I needed. Our time was too short and I miss them terribly but it was just to boost I needed. I think we all needed that boost. My CBT mates and I talked about how weird it was but in a good way. Seeing all of our families and friends in town. Again you could feel the love almost explode out of people. And we all opened up a can of worms when we told our families that Anton and Colin have to know some Berber language to get by in their sites. Our families got a kick out of that, especially Colin’s grandpa. If we couldn’t understand him before when we was speaking Darija, having him joke with us in Berber was even more difficult. But it was funny. I’m not sure how else I can describe how amazing last weekend was. Colin and I even talked about spending a week or two back in Idlsan before leaving Morocco. I know our families would love it. I would too. It would be the cherry on top of this crazy cake. Speaking of cake, Colin’s sister makes amazing cake!! I will say though that I think we all got little stomach aches from the sugar overload of so much tea in such a short period of time and food. But it was totally worth it. I would do it again in a heartbeat. Next on the agenda of life is more project research, language studying and THANKSGIVING!!!! It’s my favorite holiday and Jackie is coming to Gafait!! So excited. -Soco

*An old school photo of the crew*